I stumbled on a solution to the battle of the sexes.
It was at a time when I needed a solution for myself.
I was facing some pretty heavy primal emotions, connected to the traumatic combination of sex and violence… because of a deeply empathic relationship I was in, with someone who had experienced significant traumas over the duration of her life.
I was struggling amongst the chaotic influences of those traumas, because as an empath, I can feel the emotions of others as if they’re my own. In this relationship, there was a ‘full-bandwidth’ emotional connection between us, to the point where we could sense each others emotions, even when apart. The balance of this empathic connection was such that I was feeling her unconscious emotions, at a high volume. In the times we were not physically together, the volume of those emotions was at screaming level. My health and sanity were impacted.
I’m a naturally self-reflective person… I’ll turn within first, when facing a challenge. I needed to take my reflections deeper than the personal level I was immersed in, so I first approached things from a biological perspective.
Rage and lust are biologically linked in the body’s fight/flight response.
Which is actually 4 Fs… fight, flight, f*** and freeze, and in part, based around how an individual handles adrenaline and testosterone.
The combination of these hormones in the body equips the individual for survival in circumstances of extreme competition… the fight for life.
Procreation and protection.
However, these survival mechanisms can be toxic when triggered in a modern context. Primal expression has a limited place in modern culture, such that it flourishes under the surface, just out of sight. Sexual violence is prevalent all over the world, as the battle of the sexes rages on.
If we are going to transform this into the Battle FOR the Sexes, there are some fundamental existential shifts we need to make culturally.
I believe that, should we embrace these shifts, we can end the occurrence of rape on the planet within a few generations.
There are five key areas I’ve identified so far in which an immediate shift can be made. As in, when an individual takes these steps, the transformation will begin.
1) The origin of the ‘rape-virus’ in our culture.
2) Redefining the patriarchy.
3) The weaponisation of culture.
4) The empathic solution.
5) The return of chivalry.
The solution to the battle of the sexes that I am proposing here, is an empathic, educative way to resolve that conflict within ourselves. The battle continues because we carry it with us.
Men and women are forced into assuming a combative stance towards each other, especially in relationships, because we’re trained to avoid facing issues directly and instead use coercion and manipulation to get what we need from each other. Most of this happens unconsciously.
Neutralising the conflict means diving into the pain, taking responsibility and sanctifying the masculine and feminine archetypes within yourself.
Doing so is a sacred and heroic act.
And constitutes the anti-virus for the individual and collective trauma we carry.
This is a work in progress… I want to provide detailed context for the solution as well as describing how to apply it.
I will cover histories and mythologies in order to trace the development of our culture. I will introduce some biology and physiology to understand the mechanisms at work. And finally I will introduce ways to maintain your centre while facing these turbulent emotions.
Please leave a comment… any perspective or any information you have will be extremely valuable.